The talk
by Arsaja
Summary: Since he is the oldest, Zuko has the pleasure of educating his younger friends...
1. Chapter 1

The young fire nation teenager was lying on the soft grass. There was no wind that day, but the Sun wasn't sizzling, so the temperature was just right... Some birds fleew from the top of an old oak, but the boy didn't noticed, or probably didn't cared anyway. His eyes were shut, arms crossed under his head, but this comfy position din't mean he was sleeping. He wasn't tired, nor was he used to sleep in such good condicions...

But he liked it.

Finally he could relax for the first time in the whole year. These 12 months were so stressfull, he has acctually forgotten what the word „relax" means. Perhaps his „teamates" were right? Maybe he does need some rest?

_I don't care right now... _He heard his iner voice.

_Me neither. _His tired body agreed.

-Zuko?

_What does he need now? I'm not in the mood to teach him some fire tricks._

-Yes Aang?- he asked and opened his right eye, so that the boy knew Zuko sees him, and is not talking in his sleep.

-Can I ask you something ? You know, „boy talk"? – Aang's voice was a bit different right now.

-Mhm... Can't you ask Sokka?

- Well, his tongue sometimes gets out of control, and is useless for storing secrets... Plus, you know MUCH more than him anyway.- the young boy emphacised the last sentence for a reason : Zuko liked when he was praised. He hadn't got much compliments in his lifetime...

-What is it? – the prince opened his scarred eye now.

- The thing is... Well, when we were in Ba Sing Sei, I went to a pub... A bar... Or maybe it was a restaurant?- Aang thought for a moment.- There was a girl there, with green eyes, black hair...

_Why did I even ask??? _Zuko'sbrain sighed.

-...So then we had a chat. She was chatty, yet very friendly. And we talked : about animals, food, art, geology, and then about animals again!- Aang smiled as he recalled the chatty girl, but Zuko wasn't happy. He looked at Aang giving his famous „**Zuko is annoyed****!**" glare.

-Errr... To cut long story short...

_Works every time..._

-She then started to talk about girls and boys... And she said something I never heard before...

Zuko's eyes widened in horror – he never thought he had to explain THIS once!

-Zuko, what is sex?

That question felt like a whip – sudden, short and painfull.

-Are you sure you want to know, Aang? – He asked while standing up.

But he knew those curious eyes wanted to know every detail.

-Well ...– Zuko sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

-That is so DISGUSTING!-the airbender opened his mouth. He didn't need to say that sentence - the look on his face said everything. The reason for Aang to be so shocked stood one feet away from him, giving his another famous „**I told you it won't be pretty****!**" stare.

-It's the natural order of the wild. – the prince just shrugged, trying to act cool and not caring.

_Oh, man__! __You're the worst teacher ever__!_

-...That's not... It's just...Not right!.. Wrong... So gross...- the twelve year old stammered. He made a pause. –I need to... Clear my mind... Must have a...Walk...

Aang turned around and went into the forest as fast as he could, Zuko was left to stand there.

_Blast__!_

-Well, he had to know it sooner or later, didn't he?!- Zuko shouted to himself.

_Who the hell are you talking to, you dope???_ Came the reply from his body.

The teenager looked around himself. Thank gods there was no one around that time! His cheeks were already in fashionable red...

* * *

-What part of „pull out the guts BEFORE you roast it over the fire" you DID NOT UNDERSTAND!?

-If you didn't noticed, cooking is a G-I-R-L THING!!!-came in the reply.

-Hello?! You are from the water tribe, which specializes in FISH hunting!- her voice was even more furious.

-That doesn't mean I have to know how to SERVE it!

-Shut up before I put a girly apron on your wimpy body!!!

The siblings continued to argue. Now the girl started to remind him his last attempt to make „dinner" which probably ended pretty badly, yet the brother now started to „comment" on how good SHE made the „fish sticks" last week...

Sokka was playing with fire... Or... Water in this case...

If it wasn't for his odd emotional state right now, the firebender who was walking slowly near the campsite would surely stay and enjoy the show...

But he wasn't in the mood...

He still felt...Curiously odd right now...

_It's called „being uncomfortable", genius__! _– The sarcastic brain reminded him.

Zuko looked around_ –_ those two were still arguing about the smelly fish, Appa was eating grass, Momo was licking his... Err... Body bits... And Suki, plus Toph were probably doing something girly, somewhere else.

_Ok, just stay cool, no one will notice__!_

Katara did.

-Zuko, is everything all right?

Appa and Momo looked at the three humans. Zuko just stood silently.

_Oh CRAP__!!!_


	3. Chapter 3

- You did WHAT???!!! – Katara looked at the prince ready to kill him any moment now.

- He didn't gave me a cho...- Zuko tryed to defend himself.

It didn't work...

- Do you have ANY idea of what you did???!!!- She grew violent every minute.

- Hey, he's a smart kid, plus he'll have to face my father sooner or later, I just figured it won't do any harm if he knows more...

_Errr, I don't think that was a smart thing to say..._-his body pointed out as Katara's look was glowing with fury right now.

- Dude, he's like twelve years old...- For the very first time, the non-bending human being said something. Although, deep inside his heart, Sokka was enjoying to see his ex-enemy and his lovable sister fighting so cute together.

-Hmph, you're the one to talk, Sokka. – A small cruel smile formed on Katara's face.- If I remember corectly, you couldn't sleep for a week after YOUR talk...

Now Sokka, who didn't even started this ridiculous battle was begining to blush... Yet, to save whatever was remaining from his dignity, his brain had a plan:

- Let's ask fireboy here when did HE understood the secret of life!

Katara, Appa and Momo (who had no idea what were those „smart" humans discusing about now) looked at Zuko, who just tryed to look cool and brave. Yet his gaze said the opposite...

Silence.

- Well, I guess I was... Five years, I think.- Zuko said after an akward moment.

Silence. The two siblings just stared at the firebender with theyr mouths wide opened. This was geting really uncomfortable even for Zuko...

-Hey, I am a royality... We must learn these thing sooner than most people...

Still more silence. This was geting uncomfortable AND annoying...

-Wow... – Katara whispered.- And I thought I was the youngest to learn about sex...

Again, more silence...

-Well, lets get back to that fish now... –Sokka remembered. Apart from hunger, he also wanted to save the leftovers of Zuko's honor.

„Us guys need to stand out for each other." He once said when Zuko wasn't listening.

Katara nodded and was about to go arguing with her bro again, unfortunatly for Zuko, there was one thing he DIDN'T see coming...

-Hey, I loved to hear you arguing, but please explain what is this „sex" you all are talking about...

Toph...

The blind earthbender...

Who was standing behind them all this time...


	4. Chapter 4

The three teenagers just looked both surprised and startled at the litle girl in green. She, however, sighed and repeated her question:

-What is this „sex" you're guys talking about?..

Katara who was the bravest of the bunch breathed in and whispered in a un-Katara-like way:

-Toph, please go watch over the fire. We all need to speak in private...

_That was a wrong move, Katara!_ – Zuko's brain groaned as it could imagine what Toph was thinking about after this explanation.

Toph just smirked and went to the almost-burned-out campfire but not before gigling and announcing „OK, Sugar queen, you and Princey here can solve your love problems in peace." After this sentence Katara's mouth opened wide and she looked at „Princey" even fiercer than that time she wanted to kill him for exposing Aang the „big bad adult secret" this morning.

-This is **your** fault!-she whispered through gritted teeth.

-Yeah, good luck exposing the truth about the creation of life, fire boy. – Sokka patted Zuko on the shoulder and was about to leave with Katara when Zuko almost had a heart attack.

-ME? Why? Katara's the one who said **that **word around Toph!

-Because you're the one who started it all! Now go to her and think of something or you'll be really sorry! –Katara said and raised her fist near Zuko's nose just for an effect.

Two seconds later the water tribe kids were gone and only a confused figure was standing there.

_Let's see how you'll get out of this one, Z! _


	5. Chapter 5

-You're jokin', right?- Toph crossed her arms in disbelief.

-No, it's true.-Zuko smiled to himself. – Babies come from cabbages, and this process is called „sex"!

O O O O O

_**(10 minutes ago)**_

The teen nervously walked back and forth. He was in panic...

It was really ironic – a simple mission – just go to the tomboyish earthbender and repeat the same lecture he told Aang a few hours ago – piece of cake! However, the prince felt his heart beat faster and faster the more he thought about it.

_You're in deep trouble, my friend..._ –the brain repeated over and over again.

The thing is - Zuko couldn't do it! Even if his psycho sister apeared out of nowhere and threatened him to make this task, Zuko would gladly die the most agonizing death than actually do it. And there were plenty of reasons why:

1. Toph was a G.I.R.L., perhaps not the most lady-like of the bunch, but still Zuko's opposite sex. And that made the uncomfortability (AN-Not sure if this is an actual word ;)) even more painful.

2. Apart from that she came from a wealthy and well-known family of aristocrats, who ( Zuko was very sure of that) didn't want their vulnerable and sensitive only child to know these „filthy" things no one speaks about in public.

3. To Zuko's horror, she was probably even YOUNGER than Aang, and if that kid got this kind of reaction, it was a matter of imagination what would Toph do.

But the most important :

4. She was **BLIND**! Zuko's heart almost stopped on this one. How could he tell someone who has no sight about these intimate things? Sure, Toph was VERYpowerful. You could almost say that she was LUCKY to be born blind, because without her vision she was a better warior than every living seeing earthbender combined! This, however didn't change a fact that she probably had no idea of a male anatomy and what really lies under those clothes. And Zuko really wasn't in a mood to explain THAT.

Zuko sighed, accidentaly making the breath of fire. This happened only when he was nervous, and he really was... Then, an idea hit him!

-What would uncle do?

Zuko's box-of-storing-information though for a good moment and had a plan – Katara didn't mention he had to say the truth, and a bit of harmless lie wouldn't do a total damage, would it?

Zuko remembered when he asked Mai about her talk and she explained that some adults use a lie about finding newborns in a vegetable, specificly – cabbage.

How hard could it be to convince Toph it was not an urban legend?..

O O O O O

-Well then, what do those babies eat? –Toph asked, still having her arms crossed.

-The cabbage itself. –Zuko explained in a matter of a nanosecond.

-Don't they drink milk?-Toph frowned-she was still not convinced.

-Only after the parents pick them up.-He wasn't going to lose this battle.

-And what if they don't?

-Other people hear the baby, pick it up and return it to the parents.

-How do they know where they live?

-The adress is writen in the cabbage.

-Don't wild animals eat them?

-Well, a carnivore wouldn't come near a vegetable, and a herbivore wouldn't come near the baby! – Zuko was smart, his logic and imagination worked together just fine, but as the number of Toph's questions grew and grew, he was starting to get exhausted.

O O O O O

-Okay, you almost have me completely convinced, prince boy. –Toph admitted.-But just tell me...

Zuko looked tiredly at the blind girl. She was asking him questions for nearly forty minutes! And, quite frankly, Zuko had reached his stamina limit after her sixth question. Worse still, was the probability of him messing things up due to the lack of brain energy.

_PLEASE stop questioning me...-_ he could hear his brain beg.

Hopefully this was going to be the last one...

-...how did babies came there in the first place?

Uh oh! The prince didn't thought about that...

_OK, time for my last option..._

-God created them... – Zuko murmed tiredly due to the lack of energy.

Toph rasised her eyebrows – an action she didn't do in a long time. Zuko could see her thoughts whizling in her head, desperatly trying to find another question to torture the poor helpless monarch. At last she found it and was just about to open her mouth when Zuko exclaimed „This conversation is over!" and ran into the woods before the girl in green had a chance to argue.

O O O O O

It was night time and the gang were circling the campfire, their fish roasting over it. But food consumtion was the last thing on their minds. The children were talking, Zuko could see their lip movements pretty clear even from the spot he was waching them , which was a pretty long distance.

„Guarding duties" were the best thing he could come up with to avoid the awkwardness of being in their company right now. And having in mind what chaos he made in just one day any mortal could understand his decision.

He saw Aang, still a bit pale and still a bit shaking, talking to Katara. Obiviosly, she was trying to callm the little airbender and convince him, that sex isn't that disgusting. It wasn't working.

Then Zuko's gaze fell on Toph who was chating with Sokka. From his changing emotions – confusion, laughter, confusion, disbelief, laughter again – he could say no doubt they both were discusing „Zuko's theory of the cabbage as a start for a human life". The lonely firebender could only imagine how Sokka will taunt him for the rest of his misrable life of this „adventure"...

_Things can not possibly go worser..._

-Hello, Zuko.-he jumped at the sudden mention of his name from behind.

-Hi... – Zuko said dryly as he understood it was just Sokka's girlfriend. She looked him in the eyes trying to hold the incursion of laughter. He lowered his head to avoid her twiching smile. It was obious she came here to torment him, since she hasn't forgotten that incident of her burnt village long time ago.

-Let me guess – you want to know what „sex" is too? – Zuko said sarcasticly, trying not to show he was afraid of that word from now on. Even the slightest mention of those three letters made his mouth dry.

-Nah, just want to give you some advice. – she laid her hand on his shoulder. He looked at the girl-warrior with confusion.

-Next time use the story about bat-storks. – she smiled both mockingly and sincerely. Zuko watched with his mouth opened as the brunete went to join the rest of the group. Now he was completly lost.

-That does it!- he tightened his fists.- Never again will I explain adult themed secrets!

_Amen, brother_.- Zuko's brain nodded.

**PABAIGA** (that's „the end" in my language :D)


End file.
